What Does The Bible Say About Family Turning Against You?

How should I handle family turning against me even when I am trying to do right by them? Here are Biblical answers to this question and others, which have to do with divisions in families.

What Does The Bible Say About Family Turning Against You

A family is one of the pillars of society; and not only society, family, although small, has great influence in nation building. It comprises of people related by blood, marriage, or anything that binds them in union.

A family problem can become a national (or even global) problem. It is that influential.

It is a system ordained by God not only for procreation or companionship, but most importantly, for support.

However, family can oppose each other through conflicts or misunderstandings. The Bible shows us how to handle this situation properly in such a way that God is glorified.

What Does The Bible Say About Family Turning Against You?

The Bible not only has something to say about family turning against you. It also has stories of people whose family turned against them.

This gives us the idea that family can turn against each other, ostracize, criticize, and abandon each other.

(Bible references are from the NIV unless otherwise indicated)

“Your relatives, members of your own family— even they have betrayed you; they have raised a loud cry against you. Do not trust them, though they speak well of you.” Jeremiah 12:6

What Does The Bible Say About Family Turning Against You KJV?

As we continue to look at issues regarding family turning against you from God’s word, here are some Bible verses from the KJV Bible that talk about it.

“And ye shall be betrayed both by parents, and brethren, and kinsfolks, and friends; and some of you shall they cause to be put to death.” Luke 21:16
“All the brethren of the poor do hate him: how much more do his friends go far from him? he pursueth them with words, yet they are wanting to him.” Proverbs 19:7
“For even thy brethren, and the house of thy father, even they have dealt treacherously with thee; yea, they have called a multitude after thee: believe them not, though they speak fair words unto thee.” Jeremiah 12:6

What Does The Bible Say About Being Hurt By Family?

The Bible doesn’t hide this painful reality that family can hurt you either through their words or their actions. Although, we aren’t told to bear a grudge, but to forgive them.

Here are a few instances about being hurt by family.

“But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. ” Genesis 50:19-20
“A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city; disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.” Proverbs 18:19
“Then came Peter unto him and said: Lord, how often shall my brother offend against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? (Douay-Rheims Bible)” Matthew 18:21

What Does The Bible Say About Family Taking Advantage Of You?

Will people take advantage of us? Yes. Will some of these “people” be members of our family too? Yes. The Bible therefore puts them all in the same category without specifically pointing only to family.

Meaning that, generally speaking, this should be your response to people taking advantage of you – forgive them. Be wise but give them the chance through your goodness. Give them what they need, take the high road of giving regardless of what they do. God has a way of dealing with those who take advantage of our goodness for evil.

However, to avoid grudge and weariness in well doing, you must trust God for wisdom on how to manage them – know when to be there and when you have to walk away for the sake of peace. Shortly, we will be seeing what the Bible says about family conflicts.

“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” Matthew 10:16
“But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” Matthew 5:39-42
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:12-14
So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” Luke 17:3-4
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17
What Does The Bible Say About Family Turning Against You

Examples Of Family Problems In The Bible

Family problems are not new; they are as old as family itself. Family conflicts show us our differences in personality and in views. It gives us the opportunity to choose between peace and war, unity and division, progress or stagnation, love or our ego, etc.

God deliberately kept records of family problems for us to see and learn from, so that we can all learn to avoid them one way or another.

Here are a few Bible examples of family problems:

“My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth….” Deuteronomy 8:17-18

Couples issues: Adam making his wife take the fall for an act in which he participated:

The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Genesis 3:12

Sibling rivalry: Cain and Abel

“And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.” Genesis 4:4-8

Relative conflict: Abraham dealing with his nephew Lot

“Now Lot, who was moving about with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together. And quarreling arose between Abram’s herders and Lot’s. The Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land at that time. So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives. Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.” Genesis 13:5-9

The examples are quite numerous, but I hope you get the gist now. Family conflicts has existed from the beginning, and it is recorded for our learning.

How To Handle Family Conflict Biblically

There is a way to handle conflicts in the world, and there is a way to handle family conflicts Biblically. Our way is the Bible way, hence why we should know how to handle family conflicts Biblically.

“My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth….” Deuteronomy 8:17-18

Make the first move towards resolution and peace; apologize if possible

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” Matthew 18:15

Abraham didn’t wait for Lot to come to him. He made the move first.

Make no conclusions, instead, listen and make effort to understand

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” James 1:19

Cain wasn’t willing to give Abel a chance. He was blinded by rage that he didn’t realize it wasn’t even Abel’s fault that God rejected him but the state of his own heart.

Make sure you seek peace and not escalation of the current situation

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

Abraham was willing to let Lot choose what he would want, even when it meant choosing the best. He was willing to lose that so he could walk in peace.

 Pray for the family member, the entire family and the issue causing the conflict

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

Jesus said that when we pray for those who offend us, we become more like God, growing in mercy and increasing in spiritual stature.

Scripture About Family Turning Against Each Other

Here are a few Bible verses that talk about family turning against each other.

“For a son dishonors his father, a daughter rises up against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law— a man’s enemies are the members of his own household.” Micah 7:6
“Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.” Matthew 10:21
“From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”Luke 12:52:53

Although, all these exists, God’s order for us is peace and love towards all men as much as possible. People will be people, but we mustn’t be like people. We must be like God, loving and forgiving.

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